you and your family will die tonight

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Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

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There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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Why was the girl sad on her Birthday? She found out she was adopted.

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

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I couldnt remember who Rhiana used to date. Then it hit me.

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

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Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

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Dan walked into a jelly fish

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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What happened when the old woman crossed the road? A completely unrelated archery accident lead to the deaths of several people and thousands of dollars of property damage in another part of the country. The woman crossed without injury.

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The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops