Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

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What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

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What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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What did the single guy do on Valentine's Day? Celebrate his birthday since he was born on the same day.

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What did catwoman say to batman? meow.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Neither has he.

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The Police, your mother just died of bowel cancer.

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women rights

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Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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