Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you get if you have a bundle of children's clothing, some moisturising cream, a gas mask, a lollipop, more candy and a bag? A disguise.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are Red, violets are blue,love can not tell how much I love you!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the peanut say to the jelly

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happened when the old woman crossed the road? A completely unrelated archery accident lead to the deaths of several people and thousands of dollars of property damage in another part of the country. The woman crossed without injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Do you know what's funny? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops