A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

Whats worse then the quote "Do it, hit her!" The quote "Do it, Hitler!"

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

A baby seal walks into a club.

If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

There is no joke here, stop reading.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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