What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

Who is it?

Okay, so your school has a fire drill, and a ginger asks why the alarm went off. You reply, “Some new kid saw your hair and pulled the fire alarm

Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

See you later... Just joke I'm blind

What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

How many black teachers does it take to figure out 10 x 30. only one shes a very respected teacher

Whats a hobbo's favorite food? Trash

Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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