So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

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How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

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You know what they say about big feet... Wow, those are some big feet.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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What do Jews always complain & want money for? Anything

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knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

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So I was walking down the road today

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Like why period? Why can't mother nature just call and be like ''Wassup girl? You're not pregnant, I'll talk to you next month.''

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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