What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is the post under me so funny? Because the boy won't be able to play the x box!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats the biggest ever snake found ? i dont know i dont study snakes :O

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A sober Amy Winehouse

thumb_up thumb_down -15

69

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When a suicide-bomber went to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops