A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

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I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? Hi, my name is Chris.

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What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

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potatoes

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Q. Dr.evil? JHHHHHHHHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

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Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

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Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

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Hitler, Goebbels and Göring walked into a bar. They ordered 3 steins and took their seats in quiet corner of the establishment. After short deliberation they were ready to start work on building a highway that would be the envy of the world.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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Why did the jew give all his money away to charity? -No I'm kidding, he didn't.

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? This is 7, if you do everything I say, 6 will live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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