What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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What did the black kid get for his birthday?

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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Blonde: I'm sad. Brunette: Why? Blonde: I walked into a bar just to see my boyfriend having a drink with another woman, Brunette: I'm so sorry,

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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A Guy walks into a bar Ouch

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

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What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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A blond, brunette, and red head jump off a building. Who hit the ground last? The red head because she was last to jump.

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange. Orange who? The orange that can talk and knock on doors.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Like why period? Why can't mother nature just call and be like ''Wassup girl? You're not pregnant, I'll talk to you next month.''

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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