whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Are you a tree? No.

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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