On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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black people. that is all...

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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