Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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What did the follower of Neronism say to the follower of Christianity? Nothing, Neronism doesn't exist. -KyuremCult

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knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Billy. Billy who? Billy your next door neighbor, I need to borrow some sugar. Ok, come in.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Joe: it says gullible on the ceiling Jack: yes, I wrote it -by Ross

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

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Why was 6 scared of me? cause i ate 9

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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identical jokes get different votes.

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

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Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

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A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

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A man was late for work, he came to a stop for his third red light. He stopped and waited for the red light to turn green then continued on his way to work.

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Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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