A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

Do you speak alien? Hola.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

Women's rights

1 friend request facebook: ignore. Nuff said

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

Rachel not blowing Robert.

why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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