What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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i like cats

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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sexual intercourse.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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