I died shortly after writing this.

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Whats an Anti Joke

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you will now laugh.

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What's large, green, and pissed off? The dumpster out back

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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Twenty-Four

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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Knock Knock Nobody answered because the people in the house were away.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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