How did the fat guy die? After an autopsy, it was discovered he was unaware of his type 2 diabetes and therefore did not treat it

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A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

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What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

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This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

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Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Know what people hated the most? 9-11

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Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

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What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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homework

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

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learn the ropes?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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You know what they say about big feet... Wow, those are some big feet.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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