Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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Where did Little Billy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Whats worse than an oompa loompa a black midget

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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its my money!, but i dont need it right away

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Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

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How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

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One time I masturbated by myself

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

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A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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9

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No deal, blind trust and I help you, or no friendship, and certainly no reason to help you.

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why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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