Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

thumb_up thumb_down +4

who ever is reading this....

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? Jahova's witnesses.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is a chair?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Reverse psychology never fails.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops