What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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one day i went to bed

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An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

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What's the difference between a duck

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Q:What would strawberry short cake never say? A: Very

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Therefore no one knew why his name was Fuzzy Wuzzy.

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

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What does Snoop dog wash his clothes with Bleach

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

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what do you call a man with no penis? what ever his name is

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Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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