Why did the black man fail math? He had missed many classes due to his mother's terminal cancer.

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

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What time is it? 20:45.

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What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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One time I masturbated by myself

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How are JFK and Jimmy Neutron similar? They both had brain blasts.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

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You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

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What color is red paint? Red

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

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your mamas so fat her weight is 3.14 without the decimal

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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