Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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A- knock knock B- whose there? A- Chuck Norris B- chuck norris who? A- are you retarded?

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

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what is sticky and brown?a stick

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

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whats chinese noodles

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

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Yo mamma's so old she is dead.

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What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

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A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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Redneck girls. Now there's a joke.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Q: What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? A: Popcorn Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? A: F'uck you -Ap

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Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

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Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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