Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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Surprise mother father (A+)

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops