hi

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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