What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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The NHL playoffs

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Why did the all the fish in the lake die? A pesticide bioaccumulated through the food chain.

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Why was there a lion in the bathroom? Because I threw a refrigerator at it and stapled a frog to its butthole, all while it was being chased by a 10 foot scorpion and a purple salmon that only had 1 eye.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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September 8, 2011 Amy Winehouse: 46 days sober. Date of death: July 23, 2011

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What's worse than falling off your bike? Getting hit by a truck.

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What did the toaster say to the bread? Nothing. Toasters can't talk.

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Why did the group of black men not get paid for all of their manual labor? It was the early 1800's.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Crunchie

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough it was car. The End

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what do you call a black pilot? a pilot

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What was the sadest part about the four blacks who drove off a cliff in a cadilac? -The car sat five

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There's a blonde, Brunette and a Redhead stuck at the top of a cliff. A genie appears and says he will grant them each one wish. The Brunette wishes she could at the bottom of the cliff, The redhead wishes she could be back with her children and the blonde would just love to be back to her family. :/

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Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

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So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

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The Holocaust.

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biggest lie in the world. I love you grandma.

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So a bear walks into a bar. Everyone in there goes hysterical with the fright. Two people are killed by it.

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Chuck Norris watches TV.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and realising it has a worm in it? subsequently realising that the worm is a Swamp Adder, the worlds smallest venemous snake. Then you look up and realise you're in the Sahara Desert. You wonder where the snake came from and how it got in the apple.. Then you slowly die.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a Cadillac? One is a car and the other is a man. And it is insensitive to speak about race so blatantly, sir.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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