Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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C.U.M. on guys, gay jokes arent funny

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If Mormonism is true, and Mitt Romney becomes a god, what will that make him? Romniopotent.

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A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

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Q:what do you call a black bunny with five eyes? A: i don't know I have never heard of such a thing

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

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waiter: can I get you something to drink? customer: I'll have a coke. waiter: is pepsi okay? customer: is monopoly money okay?

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A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

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why did the chicken jump down the nest after laying eggs without flying? Because there was no ladder!

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How many people does it take to eat an apple ? One, unless it is divided into pieces for everyone to enjoy.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels for the loss of their newborn child.

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Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You don't.

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

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Two black guys and a Latino were walking down the street. One of the black guys says to the Latino, "You have some lint on your suit." The Latino brushes it off and says, "Thank you. I have an important meeting with the board of trustees this afternoon, and it would have been embarrassing if I had lint on my suit."

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Why did the girl not have a good New Year's? She was murdered on Christmas.

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German sausage is the wurst

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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