So I was making this bagel right?And my dad walks in while I'm making this bagel(cause we're in a rush you know?) and he's yells"HURRY UP!!!!"I'm like man.... I sure do got alot of YELL in my bagel .

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An Israeli, a Palestinian and an American walk into a bar. The Israeli shoots the Palestinian and says it was self defence. The American agrees with him.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what can I get you?" The man replies "what do you recommend?" The bartender says "get a beer." The man says "okay."

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http://www.youtube.com/user/SWkangaroo

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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The song Friday Rules!

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch". The nearby patrons ask him what is ailing him.

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Q: What has two wheels and is not funny? A:Ryan Vallee on a segway -Ryan V

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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but if you set him on fire, he'll die

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Knock Knock Dude i am not going to answer the door

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What's the worst thing to find in an empty box? Nothing,It's empty

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" Not the best move Anne Frank ever made.

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A man in a restaurant says "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter apologizes and offers to comp the meal.

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What is black, white and hungry? A woman with a rare skin disorder known as Vitiligo which causes discolourtion of the skins pigment in patches; who is hungry.

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Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

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Why was sally crying? she was sad

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing.He's dead.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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how did the girl fall off the swing. BECAUSE SHE HAD NO ARMS HAHAHAH

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Three men walk into a bar because they were all blind.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What did the tree say when it was cut down? Nothing, it's a tree

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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