Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

Screw it you write the joke.

Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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