If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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A Chinese man fails a math test

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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What'd the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? New shoes and some gloves

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

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What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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What word is 7 letters long, is composed of the letters N,G,G,E,R, and S, and stands for a group of people who annoy the crap out of you? NAGGERS.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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