roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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