Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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Trees are my friends because they welcome me with open limbs.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's white, black and can't fly? Nothing important.

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whats worse then finding a bad antijoke on this site? finding a real joke on this site

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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what did the african boy get for christmas - not food

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What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

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What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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24

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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What did the librarian say to the three black men in the library? Nothing. Those three men were Harvard graduates and were very respective of libraries, and thier policies.

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Why was Jerry Sanduski at K-Mart? He heard boys pants were half off!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? .The Police The Police who? ..The Police The Police who? ...The Police The Police who? ....The Police The Police who? .....The Police The Police who? ......The Police The Police who? .......The Police The Police who? ........The Police The Police who? .........The Police The Police who? ..........The Police The Police who? Forget this. *Gunshot*

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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What happened when they asked Steve if he was feeling blue? He confessed and went to prison for a long time for molesting that poor dog.

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A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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