who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

Knock Knock Who's there? Not Anne Frank

what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

What's worse than bad words? People who say them

why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

Why did the girl throw her watch out of the window? because her mind wasn't as intelligent as a normals person mind as she had mental problems.

Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

hey i just met you and this is crazy so heres my number actually is dolan

A small black boy was walking down the street. He ran into a police officer and the police officer shot him, why? A: Because the officer was racist.

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

This is Heading 1

Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

What do u call a banana? A banana......

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

What do Jim Carrey, Kim Jing-un and Justin Bieber have in common? A penis.