ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Crippled Orphan get for Christmas Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black guy get kicked out of the bar? He was riding a jack hammer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A walks out of a bar and the joke is cut off by a-

thumb_up thumb_down +13

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If you're happy and you know it go to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo mama is so fat she probably has diabetes, poor circulation in her extremities, and cannot ride anything at Disney World.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was black, then white, now dead all over? Michael Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten won the contest. The man didn't think much of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops