why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why was the little girl happy? because she found an icecream cone

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Amy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Amy

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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What's black, blue, and red all over? A baby after I kill it

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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Whats the difference between a black person and dirt? nothing

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What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

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What's worse than the holocaust? I'm a zebra so what is the holocaust.

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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Justin's hair

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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