Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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What do you call it when you mix a raccoon with an 18-wheeler? A bloody mess on the highway. That smells like cheese

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops