What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Who has the biggest cock A rooster

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

thumb_up thumb_down -165

Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

thumb_up thumb_down -187

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

thumb_up thumb_down -22

An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What do old people really like? Anal sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +173

why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down +49

So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops