Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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Why is your face? Because.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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^that joke's not funny

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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