What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

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Antijokes...

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Why did Jessica fall off the swing? She doesn't have any arms Knock, knock Whose there? Not Jessica

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for x-mas a bike

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What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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when tempuratures get to high the elderly will start to DIE :( ;O

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How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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25.

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why the chicken cross the road? because he just committed 3rd degree murder and was try'in to commit suicide

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you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

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The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

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Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Yo mama is so fat she needs to wear extra large.

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops