Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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HEY!

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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I had a really great joke to tell you!

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No!

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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whats black and large -me

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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diarrhea.

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why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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