Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a dog

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Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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A retarded man waks ito aaa baar

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What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

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Knock Knock Go Away

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

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What did the boy with no social skills say to the bully? I KNOW U ARE BUT WHAT AM I

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "I'm Japanese!" The second man says, "I'm Japanese too!" The bartender says, "I'm also Japanese!" The bar was in Japan.

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What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies. I don't have a Ferrari in garage.

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When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Imma dog

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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There was Jew, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Mexican guy at the store. The store was called Walmart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops