How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

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your mamas so fat her weight is 3.14 without the decimal

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Whats the quickest way to a woman's heart? A bilateral incision on the upper left region of the sternum.

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7

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if quiz is quizzal whats test?

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Aodhan peanut head Hearty

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A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots. The bartender promptly pulls out a gun and shoots him 4 times.

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What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

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What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Is every Voltorb a terrorist?

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

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Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

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A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

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1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

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What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Being a Japanese person in Hiroshima on this date.August 6, 1945

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Q: why was the movie called the last house on the left? A: because they went to the last house that was on the left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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