Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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It’s dead.

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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Mexicans are like waffles

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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