If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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Whats 9+10? Well it's certainly not 21

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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What did the girl say when the boy asked her out? Yes.

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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adam shagged katie lololol

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Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

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Three women, a blonde a brunette and a readhead, jump out of an airplane without wearing parachutes. And this is why women should stay in the kitchen.

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- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? - I dont know man, but you're adopted.

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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