Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

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Your mum is dead

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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Covietz has a large penis

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was black

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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