One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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Baseball

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

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A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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What's (333x4)-198+(456x100,432)-10+5? Bet ya said i don't know! I don't either.

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What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

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Wat do u call a 2 root tall scottidh man named max? Max

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An Irishman stays home

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

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ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

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A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

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Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

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Women's Rights

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops