What does a man like. food.

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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A Jew returns change.

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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what did the nazi say to the jew? hi

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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marble

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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My sister has to take a dump

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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