Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

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Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

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Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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