How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

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How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

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Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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Diana and victoria

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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