19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Womens rights

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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LOL -LOL GUY

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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Sarah Palin

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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