What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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Yee

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops