There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Good to see you today!

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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womens sports...

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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Wumbo

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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