Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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A seal walks into a club...

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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