Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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385

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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